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Plainville, CT, United States
Having achieved my goal of becoming a published author, I contribute it to the fact that I have been writing since the age of 9. My boys were the inspiration for my children's stories and my life is the inspiration for my autobiography. I have a tendency to write about whatever I feel, relevant, interesting or not. I welcome any comments you may have, positive or constructive. Thank you so much for visiting and following my blog, My life.

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

5.25.16

It seems as though rather than dread going to bed at night because I don't want tomorrow to come, I am actually looking forward to it now.

Today went well.  The first thing I do when I get up is get my coffee and reach for my phone so I can say good morning to you. Even though we aren't actually talking to each other, I really look forward to our chats.

It sucks when you get held over or have to go in to work early because then I don't get to talk to you as long.  Kind of like today.  You had to go into work early so our time this am was cut short.  Not only that, I didn't get to talk to you at lunch time.

My 45 minutes in the afternoon that I get to talk to you is one of the highlights of my day.  I feel so young again, so "giddy" when It gets closer to lunch time just knowing that I'm going to be able to hear your voice.  Today, I was super bummed, not to mention I didn't know what to do with myself.

It's weird sometimes.  When you have someone in your life that is important, that you care about, even love, your whole perspective on life changes.  Here I am, married yet alone.  The highlight of my social life is getting my hair cut and going grocery shopping or to Walmart.  Other than that I have no life.  Now when I say married, I use the term only because I'm not divorced yet.

Being in a sucky relationship has its ups and downs and the worse it gets the more downs there are. Hence, the comment in the beginning about dreading tomorrow before I found you.  Eventually I'll be able to change my situation, but that's going to take a second job and no time for myself whatsoever.   I see it in my future, but not until little league season is over.

I do have to say I got a lot of work done today.  Kept myself busy but I still kept looking at my phone just in case you happened to get up and send me a message.  There never was one but it didn't keep me from looking.

I have so much I want to say to you but I'm so afraid that I'm going to end up talking too much and scare you away, say the wrong thing or make you feel uncomfortable. Thats the last thing I want to happen but my feelings are so strong I can't help it sometimes.  I only hope that you will be kind with your words and let me know if its too much, too fast.

I remembered you saying that you were going into work early again tonight which means another day of not talking to you.  I'm not sure I like this whole going in early thing.

At least I got to chat with you a bit before going to bed which was a great ending to my night.  I'm glad you were able to answer, even if it was only for a minute.  Now, I have a great ending to the day, I can go to bed with a smile and greet tomorrow morning with a "good morning" to a wonderful man.


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