tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38432640265119922792012-03-27T15:15:56.279-04:00M.J. WILLIAMSAnything and everything I feel is worthy enough to write about, you will find written in my blog. With writing being a passion of mine, it is an excellent way for me to express myself - please enjoy - and I welcome any comments whether positive or negative!M.J. Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506807199279363316noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843264026511992279.post-52344424832137290592012-03-26T21:05:00.002-04:002012-03-26T21:05:56.244-04:002012-03-26T21:05:56.244-04:00A Leap of FaithI have always been very personal when it comes to my writing. I am careful who i let read my work and would never let any one in on any ideas that i may have for my next story. Fast forward twenty or so years.<br />
I still write and i am still a very private person when it comes to my material. Could it be from the let downs, the put downs, the criticism and constantly being told that writing is stupid, i was never going to amount to anything and if i thought i was i was foolish? Could be. Whatever the reason, i generally keep what i write to myself. <br />
Recently, with the encouragement of a dear friend, i started sharing some of that material. Reluctantly, i would post a little bit, talk about it and even pick up an old story to finish. Wait, no negative comments? This could be a good thing after all. <br />
I take another step and create an author page on Facebook. I'll keep this page for my material. I go through the time line, start at the beginning of my "writing" and just go from there. I post the very first poem i have ever written, the beginning of me as an author/writer. <br />
Well that didn't turn out very well. While i posted it on my wall and in MasterKoda, it didn't get as much traffic as i hoped even though i tried to solicit it amongst my on line friends and groups. Maybe i should have kept it to myself.....?<br />
i wrote a piece of non-fiction a few years ago, but never really did anything with it. That's what usually happens with everything i write. It gets put away and doesn't surface again until i am digging through a drawer, going through old files on my computer, etc. Well, remember that dear friend i spoke of earlier? She told me about a book that was being put together for a child with cancer. There were several authors, writers, artist, etc that were contributing material for this book. What could it hurt? She would even edit it for me......OK, so we'll give it a shot......<br />
It didn't take long before she was done editing my story. It was short but most of the editing was in my tenses. I "sucked" as she so bluntly put it lol. Good thing she is a dear friend or I may have gotten a bit pissed off. <br />
Story edited, sent off to Inknbeans Press. Now we wait. I didn't know if this was a project for which every piece of submitted material was accepted, or if they actually sorted through everything and only picked what they felt was suited for the book. I was very pleased to find out that they were accepting what was submitted. Perhaps this is the beginning of something good for me for once. It would definitely be something worth waiting for after all the bullshit I have gone through with my writing. Bullshit? That's what I call it. See the beginning of the blog - that's the general description of constantly being told that I didn't know how to write, etc. you know, bullshit.<br />
So we waited. And waited and waited and waited. FINALLY the book was ready....I was very quick to order but would have to wait two weeks to get it as I couldn't afford expedited shipping. The anticipation and excitement were overwhelming. I shared with everyone and it felt good that they shared in my excitement. Well everyone except the one person that I wanted to share in my excitement the most........<br />
Not getting the congratulatory response I was expecting, my whole idea that I could finally become something quickly faded and I retreated back into my little private world. No more posting. No more writing. I was going to put it to rest again, once and for all. It was a stupid hobby anyhow.<br />
Now fast forward to today. Just an ordinary day, but something strange happened today. My brain was flooded with ideas for a story that I had no intention of writing for quite a while, if ever. How was I going to write this story? I had so many ideas pop into my head all at once and no time to do anything with them. Working a full time job, taking care of a toddler and a home didn't leave me much time for writing. But I HAD to put it on paper somehow. But how?<br />
I have "met" a lot of people on Facebook and in my Masterkoda group. I have spoken to some more than others. One in particular actually reached out to me. I got a private message, an attempt to be friends as she wrote for young adults, and some stories for children. . I had apparently mentioned that I wrote for children. I can't imagine what else would prompt her to reach out to me like that. After all it was just <i>writing. </i><br />
<i>Do I take a chance?</i> Maybe. Just maybe this would work. She did after all show enthusiasm toward the subject matter of my next story, the Kangarillasaurus. Actually stating that if I didn't write about it, she would. This just might work. <br />
I decided that I was going to take a chance. Was she on line? Nope. I would have to PM her.....that would get her attention. Just one sentence was all it took... "would you like to co-write a book with me?" It didn't take long before she responded. Very enthusiastically I might add. Now I knew it was going to work. I just had to test the waters a bit. <br />
I gave her the ideas that flooded my brain while I was trying to work, and she would throw back a couple of her own. By the time we were done, we had the makings of a children's story. I was very pleased to say the least. I had a good feeling about this. Yes, there was that doubt, that fear that my ideas were going to get stolen but the more we exchanged ideas the more I knew that I had made the right choice. The choice to take a leap of Faith.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3843264026511992279-5234442483213729059?l=mjouellette.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>M.J. Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506807199279363316noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843264026511992279.post-63348565660876191052012-03-07T15:59:00.002-05:002012-03-07T15:59:20.422-05:002012-03-07T15:59:20.422-05:00Molly's Flower<br />
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“Is it time yet Mommy?” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Molly asked</div>
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<br /></div>
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“Not yet Molly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why don’t you go
outside and play with Buttercup for a while?” </div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: windowtext;">Molly went outside to play
with Buttercup like Mommy told her to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Boy did she love Buttercup.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
was a big yellowy colored dog that Mommy and Daddy called a golden-treever.
Molly remembered when Daddy</span><u><span style="color: blue;"> </span></u><span style="color: windowtext;">brought him home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Daddy asked Molly what name would be good for him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Molly thought for a minute and came up with a
very special name for her new puppy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="color: windowtext;">“He is Buttercup, Daddy!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: windowtext;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Buttercup” earned his name because he was
yellow and Molly loved yellow because it was the color of so many beautiful
flowers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: windowtext;">Molly picked up a ball and
started throwing it to Buttercup.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Playing catch was one of their</span><span style="color: blue;"> </span><span style="color: windowtext;">favorite games.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Molly would throw the ball and he would bounce after it, pick it up and
would always bring it back to Molly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Buttercup would drop the ball at Molly’s feet hoping that she would
throw it for him again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: black; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">After what seemed like they were playing catch forever, Molly decided to
go into the back yard and pick some pretty flowers for Mommy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Buttercup wanted to go too, so he ran in a
big circle around Molly as she jumped over sticks, twirled like a ballerina,
and hopped like a bunny.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That was the
fun way to get to the back yard.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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When Molly
finally finished dancing her way into the back yard, she saw that Daddy was
outside watering the garden.. Molly didn’t really like that garden. It wasn’t
pretty because there were no flowers – just yucky vegables!</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
Molly went to
her favorite spot in the back yard under a big maple syrup tree.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She picked five beautiful flowers for Mommy,
because Molly was five, called Daddylions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>At least that’s what she heard Mommy call them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They grew around the tree all the time.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">“I wonder what Mommylions look like?” she asked herself
aloud.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Maybe they are the white fuzzy
ones you blow away.”<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3843264026511992279-6334856566087619105?l=mjouellette.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>M.J. Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506807199279363316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843264026511992279.post-84959001984647105692012-03-06T11:21:00.002-05:002012-03-06T11:28:01.043-05:002012-03-06T11:28:01.043-05:00Sailin' With Sadie - Life with a LabradorMy husband and I have been together for 11 years this year, but married for 6. During my previous marriage, I owned three dogs. An Old English Sheepdog, a Shepard/Lab Mix, and a Rhodesian Ridge-back. I had never owned a Lab, but my current husband is a hunter (for food only) and has only owned Labradors for pheasant hunting. When I met him he owned a Black and a Chocolate Lab. After unforeseen circumstances and health issues forced us to put the dogs to sleep only months apart from each other, I was in search of another Lab to fill that empty space in my husbands heart. Ebony, the Black Lab was his baby and he was devastated that she was gone. He didn't want another dog to replace her, stating that he didn't want to lose another and could never love another dog as much as he loved Ebony. I was on a mission now.<br />
It took me a few months, but I finally found a responsible breeder that only had three left and they were yellow. A color my husband had never owned. One was a female, a preference of my husbands. I took a look at the dogs, and this female was quite the little spit-fire. A personality all her own already at a young age, she was tormenting her siblings and then running away as if to say "HA - catch me if you can!" I gave the breeder a deposit to hold the puppy for me. Now the only thing to do was convince my husband to get another dog. <br />
I managed to convince Bill to just "look" at the puppy. It took a while, but reluctantly, he finally gave in. I think it was for the main purpose of getting me to leave him alone about it, but whatever the reason I'm glad he went.<br />
He looked at the puppies, not saying much and i pointed out the female. He remarked at her coloring - she looked white with yellow markings. The tips of her ears looked as if someone had dipped her in Yellow Lab as well as a strip on her back.<br />
Next, as he was watching her, she was "attacking" a weed. Biting it, yipping at it, pouncing on it and running around it in circles. Then she would start all over again. She was entertaining herself. Bill reached down to pet her and she immediately took the submissive position, belly up. He rubbed her belly, looked at me and said "Lets take her home". Mission accomplished.<br />
Sadie has been a ray of sunshine in our lives from day one. She has filled us with so much joy and unconditional love we can't imagine life without her. The amazing thing is that she shows qualities of Ebony and Dillon (the chocolate lab) as well as qualities of her own. Its as if we were meant to have her. <br />
We have our share of experiences with Sadie that will always be memorable just because she never fails to amaze us with her personality. I would like to share one of those moments with you.<br />
the following story was written 5 years ago and t is the story that I submitted for The Gage Project and will be submitting to the MasterKoda writing contest for unpublished manuscripts. Please, enjoy!<br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Sailin' With Sadie<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">By Melanie Ouellette<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;">Wow, where do I start? I can’t imagine my life without a dog.<span style="color: red;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;">We have had them all – A
Chocolate Lab, Black Lab and now a Yellow Lab<span style="color: red;">. </span>Our
summers with all of them were just so memorable that it would take me forever
to list the wonderful things that transpired over the years. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;">Our current Lab Sadie had
just turned two. Never before have I had a dog with a personality such as
hers. She is truly an amazing dog.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;"> Last year, being her first summer with us,
turned out to be quite possibly the most unique summer we have had in a long
time with a young dog. While she was
past that puppy stage in her life, she was still quite full of energy and
surprises!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;">My husband Bill and I love to
take the boat out on the <st1:place w:st="on">Connecticut River</st1:place> and
on local lakes. We decided to take Sadie
with us, as she gets extremely upset when Daddy leaves without her. Never having had her in the boat before, we
weren’t sure what to expect, but we WERE up for the challenge.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;">This particular boat excursion
happened at a local lake that we frequent every year. Upon our arrival at the launch, I usually
would help Bill unhook the boat and transfer everything from our truck into the
boat, etc. Apparently, Sadie felt that
she should be the first one in the boat.
Without hesitation, she jumped out of the truck, onto the ground and
then leaped into the boat clearing the sides with ease. Quite the picture seeing that the boat was
still on the trailer and is about 4 feet high!
With that being said, I knew this was going to be a very interesting
day. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;">After we finally got
underway, we were in search of a nice spot to anchor and go swimming off the
boat. As we cruised the lake, Sadie took
her spot at the front of the boat, ears flapping in the wind and her nose
checking everything out. We would occasionally hit wakes left by other boats,
causing our vessel to slap the water and jump quite a bit when we went over
them. Apparently, this was not a
favorable motion to Sadie, as it didn’t take long for her to retreat from her
original spot to a safer one, curled up under Bill’s seat. <span style="color: red;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;">Finally, we found a nice
place to anchor the boat and decided to go swimming. We usually throw a couple of life jackets in
ahead of us so that we can hold onto<span style="color: red;"> </span>them and
stay in the water longer. Bill proceeded
to throw in a life jacket and the next thing we saw was<span style="color: red;">
</span>Sadie flying through the air. She
landed<span style="color: red;"> </span>in the water, grabbed the life jacket,
and proceeded<span style="color: red;"> </span>to swim back to us. It was obvious that she had absolutely no
problem with the Retriever in her!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;">She seemed to be struggling a
bit getting back to us so Bill had to jump in and help her get back into the
boat. He brought her over to the ladder and amazingly enough, she found her
footing and with a little help from the two of us, managed to get back in the
boat.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11pt;">Thinking that the ordeal was<span style="color: red;"> </span>over, Bill turned,<span style="color: red;"> </span>proceeded<span style="color: red;"> </span>to swim<span style="color: red;"> </span>over to the
life jacket and floated<span style="color: red;"> </span>around a bit. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;">Next thing we knew<span style="color: red;"> </span>Sadie was<span style="color: red;"> </span>back in the
water! Back to the boat she went<span style="color: red;"> </span>– with a little
help from Bill - and this time the two of us told her to “STAY!” Apparently she was a bit tired, as she didn’t
try to jump in again. Bill was able to swim a bit and then once back in the
boat, decided that if Sadie was going to continue to jump in the water, we
should probably move the boat closer to shore so she would be able to find her
own footing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;">We were able to find a little
island with a makeshift beach, which seemed like a perfect spot to anchor. No sooner was the anchor in the water – there
went<span style="color: red;"> </span>Sadie again! We both figured that<span style="color: red;"> </span>at
this point she obviously loved the water, so investing in a life jacket for her
would<span style="color: red;"> </span>probably a good idea.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;">Not having <span style="color: black;">a </span>life jacket for her, we decided that we would take
turns staying in the boat to make sure that she didn’t continue to jump in the
water. She was getting fatigued and
having trouble swimming back to the boat and<span style="color: red;"> </span>this
was probably the best way to handle the situation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;">Before I tell you what
happened next, I must tell you that our boat isn’t anything fancy. It is a Tracker, 16 feet long, carpeted, and
has a few holds and drains in the floor.
Those wonderful drains are a key factor in what happened next.<span style="color: red;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;">Apparently, in all our
excitement, we forgot that dogs pee. I
was sitting in the boat with Sadie, reading a book and just chilling. The next thing I knew she started<span style="color: red;"> </span>to pace….then squatted! I began<span style="color: red;"> </span>to panic because I certainly didn’t<span style="color: red;"> </span>want pee all over the boat. Using some quick thinking<u>, I </u>grabbed
her in front of her back legs, swung<span style="color: red;"> </span>her bottom
end around, and aimed<span style="color: red;"> </span>her pee into the
drain! Quite the interesting day this
was turning out to be!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;">At this point, I decided that
it was<span style="color: red;"> </span>now MY turn to swim and Bill’s turn to
babysit. He got<span style="color: red;"> </span>into the boat and I as I threw<span style="color: red;"> </span>my life jacket into the water – BIG<span style="color: red;"> </span>mistake – it was<span style="color: red;"> </span>promptly
retrieved by a Flying Labrador! This
pretty much continued the entire day and I must say that on occasion, we
purposely threw the life jackets into the water, feeling as much joy watching
her as she felt retrieving each one!<span style="color: red;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;">I did finally end up going
swimming and by the time we had our fill, we were absolutely exhausted. We were certainly ready to end our day and go
home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;">I think Sadie would have been
content traveling in the boat the entire trip home. Once we docked at the launch, it took us a
good ten minutes to coax her out of the boat and get her back into the
truck. She slept the entire ride, not
waking until we got to the end of the highway close to home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;">As for Bill and I, we just
laughed at her character and personality and look forward to many more summers
on the boat with our Flying Labrador!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3843264026511992279-8495900198464710569?l=mjouellette.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>M.J. Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506807199279363316noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843264026511992279.post-29214415381242234242012-03-04T16:04:00.003-05:002012-03-04T17:54:35.918-05:002012-03-04T17:54:35.918-05:00My Beginning.........Once upon a time (didn't I post about the meaning of this in MasterKoda?), wait-lets start again. Many years ago (much better...), I developed an interest in writing. I'm not sure why, or what got me started but today it really doesn't matter. I love to write! <br />
<div>
I was a bit bored today, Axel was down for a nap so I decided to go through my filing cabinet and look for my old folder full of writing. My intent was to re-write as is the older works and save them on my computer, as they were originally written on an electric typewriter. May as well - if i am going to pursue my dream of becoming a published author, i need to look at the work i have done, re-write if necessary (definitely) and bring them back to life!</div>
<div>
It didn't take me long to find what i was looking for. A tattered manila folder with "my stuff" written on the tab, as well as another poorly misshapen folder containing my "novel" for children that i wrote when i was about 11. It remains unfinished to this day.</div>
<div>
Sorting through the manila folder, typing each one into its own word document, i finally came across something that brought tears to my eyes. It was the very first thing i had ever written, which was published in my school newspaper. Reading the poem made me laugh at the childish vocabulary and rhyming, but it also brought me back to a time that made me happy because i could write without anyone telling me that i was wasting my time and why would i want to do something like that? I believe i was 9 years old at that time and just beginning to get creative with a pen.</div>
<div>
I thought i would share it with my readers, give them a chance to see what started me on the track to becoming an author. Please try to enjoy:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My Pony</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
By Melanie Collis</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have a little pony</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
His coat is silver gray.</div>
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If anyone tries to catch him,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
He always runs away.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I haven't found a name for him</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I hope I will someday.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't know what to call him now,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So how about Old Gray?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That doesn't sound very nice</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And neither does Old Rusty.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
How about Suncora,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Mandy, Bell or Dusty?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I think I'll stick with Dusty,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That sounds very pleasing!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oops! I have to go now,</div>
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My little pony's sneezing!</div>
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I thank you all for reading this </div>
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While I was thinking of a name.</div>
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You all are nice for doing that</div>
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And Dusty says just the same.</div>
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I know, I know. Its silly. Its a bit ridiculous and its composition is quite immature to say the least. What can i say? I was 9 years old when i wrote it. I think its pretty good coming from a 9 year old, so i think i'm going to take a bow..... </div>
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<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3843264026511992279-2921441538124223424?l=mjouellette.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>M.J. Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506807199279363316noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843264026511992279.post-84984644873118578112012-03-02T14:06:00.001-05:002012-03-02T14:06:12.356-05:002012-03-02T14:06:12.356-05:00Gotta love him.....<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;">Another Axel tale: This morning, i was attempting to "catch" him to get his shoes on so that we can go to Miss Judy's (Daycare). Well, apparently when i say come here, it clearly means run in the opposite direction as fast as you can.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;">I managed to catch him, and told him "we need to get your shoes on so we can go. I need you to be my "best helper." " Struggling with me the whole time i am tr</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;">ying to get his shoes on, i finally manage to accomplish the task. He gets off my lap and i tell him - "you need to stop being so fresh to me in the morning. I need you to be my best helper so I can go to work and you can go to Miss Judy's." He turns around to me, puts his hands on his hips and clearly states: "Well Moma, thats not the way I see it."<br />I couldn't really say too much after that - i was trying too hard not to laugh.</span></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3843264026511992279-8498464487311857811?l=mjouellette.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>M.J. Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506807199279363316noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843264026511992279.post-9740324001261931272012-01-23T15:11:00.001-05:002012-03-12T14:04:24.660-04:002012-03-12T14:04:24.660-04:00My SENSA JourneyI have been struggling with my weight for a couple years now. After my surgeries, i found that i had gained a good 30-35 pounds due to the restrictions on my physical activity. I tried Atkins, Weight Watchers, slim fast, etc. I would lose 7 pounds and plateau, permanently. <br />
Now i cannot exercise for fitness - i have a collapsed disc in my lower back that restricts the extent of my exercising ability, and a left leg that does not have 100% strength in it, due to a crushed sciatic nerve (caused by a ruptured disc). Sensa seemed like my only alternative at this point. the only thing that was keeping me from it was the price. I decided to take the plunge......I knew that it was going to be a little bit hard to manage financially, but i am determined to find a way to get the pounds off.<br />
<br />
Prior to my hysterectomy in August of 2008, and my brain surgery in January of 2009, I weighed 150 pounds, and was a size 10 pants, and medium shirt. Today, three years after my last surgery, i am 192 pounds, size 14 pants and XL shirt..... Following will be my Sensa Journey......<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>January 12, 2012</b> - I received my shipment of Sensa today. I was so excited! I had it delivered to me at work because i wasn't sure if i had to sign for it, and it came just in time for lunch! I had brought leftover spaghetti to work with me (and it wasn't a little!), and after reading the directions, i sprinkled Sensa on my spaghetti. <br />
Now keep in mind that Sensa works with your hypothalmus - sending a "false full" signal to your brain. The key to Sensa is learning how to "listen" to that.... Now back to the spaghetti. <br />
I ate almost the whole dish of spaghetti that i had brought, knowing full well that Sensa isn't going to work on the first day....or is it? Later that afternoon, i realized that i hadn't snacked on anything. Normally? I have a handful of M&M's, a few slices of my cheddar cheese, some peanut butter on crackers, etc. Hmmmmm. Ok I called it coincidence.<br />
that evening, i did my usual routine of picking up my grandson at daycare and then going home to make dinner. I can't really remember what i was making, but what i DO know is that while i am making dinner i am usually snacking on something. Tonight.....i did not!<br />
Sitting down to dinner with my grandson, i diligently sprinkled my meal - ah yes, now i remember.....i made a skillet meatloaf......And i didn't finish that either. Was it just my imagination or was Sensa actually working that quickly? Too soon to tell.<br />
Seeing as how January 11th was a wednesday - i was going to wait until Monday to weigh myself. Give me a little time to get acclamated to the system........<br />
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<b>January 16th</b> - Weigh Day. Almost through week 1.OK. we know that my starting weight is 192 so i was weighing myself after 5 days of using sensa just to confirm and record.....BUT I HAD LOST 2 POUNDS! I didn't think that Sensa would work that fast......maybe it was just me..... but if not, 2 down, 40 to go! <br />
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<b>January 23 </b>- Weigh in - finish of week 2.......didn't lose anything. Bummer. I can't let myself get frustrated. I can do this! I have been sprinkling very diligently, even carrying my shaker around with me if i go out on the weekends. I have a tendency to get very frustrated very easy but i can't let that happen this time........I CAN do this.<br />
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<b>January 30 - </b>Weigh Day Week 3.................Down 5 pounds for a total of 7. This is where it is suspensful. I am notorious for only losing 7 pounds no matter what weight loss system i am using. Yes, I am nervous but we'll have to see what next week brings.<br />
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<b>February 6 - </b>Weigh Day - Week 4........Nothing. Here we go. Frustrated, disappointed, you name it. History repeating itself again. I'll just have to hope that switching to the month two formula will trigger some more weight loss.......<br />
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<b>February 13 - </b>Weigh Day - Week 5...........Still didn't lose anything. I have been very careful, watching what i am eating, being sure to sprinkle. I post on the Sensa FB Page, and have been told to start taking my measurements, as i may be losing inches in stead of pounds. I haven't tried that, so maybe that is whats happening. I know that my pants fit looser, so there is a bit of "hope" in the inches department. We'll see what happens over the course of the next week.<br />
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<b>February 20 </b>- Weigh Day Week 6...............Well, We are on vacation so i am using a different scale. :) Not that it will help any. Weigh in produced the same results as the past two weeks - Loss = 0. Still stuck at the 7 pound mark. I am really trying to watch what i eat. I don't drink soda, stay away from the sweets whenever possible, i have started eating multi grain cereals and breads, i drink carbonated fruit water (0 calories, 0 fat, 0 everything - regular water has too many chemicals in it). This is quite frustrating.<br />
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<b>February 27 - </b>Weigh Day Week 7..............Almost two months using Sensa and i havent lost anything in the past 3 weeks. This is extremely frustration. I know it would help if i was able to exercise more but with my back and leg, i am really limited. I started walking up and down the stairs as a "change up" to my routine, but not sure if it is going to help. I guess the next weigh day will tell!<br />
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<b>March 5 - </b> Weigh Day, Week 8.................Unless i am not reading things correctly - it appears that i have finally lost another 2 or 3 pounds (hard to see the small numbers - may need scale with bigger ones lol)! WOOT! I made it to the 10 pound mark!<br />
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<b>March 12 - </b>Weigh Day, Week 9 - Start of month Three.......no weight loss this week, but content that i did not gain either. I'm fearful that this will be another hump that will take me forever to climb up and over, but hopefully i will continue to maintain the will power, strength and determination to continue on my weight loss journey!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3843264026511992279-974032400126193127?l=mjouellette.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>M.J. Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506807199279363316noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843264026511992279.post-13954783395124710312012-01-16T09:59:00.002-05:002012-01-16T10:07:49.057-05:002012-01-16T10:07:49.057-05:00Stepping StonesThere comes a time in your life when you have to sit back and realize that you are an adult. Whether you like it or not, you are the grownup and no matter how much you don't want to, you have to start acting like one. It can be very frustrating when you reach this point, because while you have taken the step to "act your age", not everyone else is going to unfortunately.<br />
<br />
I put this all into perspective this weekend. I had a wonderful visit with my father and stepmother, traveling to Delaware to make the visit happen. I brought along my two sons, and of course my grandson. Jumping ahead a little, let me just mention that my sons ex-wife, (and Axel's mother) also lives in Delaware.<br />
<br />
The ride down was a little stressful, not really knowing how everything was going to turn out. Michael had every right to come, as we were visiting his grandparents. Jennifer had every right to be there, she wanted to see her son. Well, i was afraid that i was going to pack up and go home before the visit even started. I had a gut feeling that Jennifer was going to bring her boyfriend along and was dreading the friction that was going to be there between he and my son Michael. Tensions were high, i was having anxiety, and to tell you the truth, was beginning to regret going.<br />
<br />
We arrived around 10:30 Friday evening. I was stressed, and to add to it, couldn't find my wallet, fearing that i had left it in the service area we stopped at a couple hours prior to our arrival. (I found my wallet in the truck thank goodness!)<br />
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Saturday am was going to be the test. That's when Jennifer and Kyle were going to come over for a visit. I was dreading it, as on the ride there, she said that they would be over around 9 or 10. That was too early, i thought 11-12 would be better (so we could wake up, eat breakfast, shower, etc), and she wasn't really accepting that, stating that "well, i will just call them myself". Oh boy, here we go.<br />
<br />
Around 10, Jennifer called the house asking if it was OK if they came over now. This was a tremendous relief to me. I had expected a knock on the door at 9 while we were all fighting over the coffeepot still. One gold star for Jennifer. stress level just went down a notch.<br />
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She and Kyle arrived about a half hour later. Everyone was nervous, anxious and not sure what to make of the situation. Understandable considering the circumstances. <br />
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Fast forward a few hours. Michael and Kyle getting along great (weird huh?), Jennifer and I had a "heart-to-heart" talk, and Axel found a new playmate (Mommy). Stress level about gone now. The day was turning out OK after all. I was pleasantly surprised......<br />
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3843264026511992279-1395478339512471031?l=mjouellette.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>M.J. Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506807199279363316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843264026511992279.post-29428566010745031042012-01-13T09:35:00.000-05:002012-01-13T11:25:12.882-05:002012-01-13T11:25:12.882-05:00Stolen Innocence.....I remember waking up, peeking through cracked eyelids to see the face that i had hoped i would not see again, yet haunted me every night. Fighting back tears, I lay motionless in the bed, feeling the rough hands as they fondled me. Feeling as he penetrated me with his fingers, then, careful not to penetrate fully, with his penis. I dared not scream or fight. If i knew how to pray i would so I did the only thing a frightened 6 year old could do.....silently cry.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3843264026511992279-2942856601074503104?l=mjouellette.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>M.J. Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506807199279363316noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843264026511992279.post-47406708285670425292012-01-12T10:45:00.000-05:002012-01-13T11:25:44.898-05:002012-01-13T11:25:44.898-05:00DAYCARE HORROR!!!!!I never thought i would be writing about a daycare experience, as both of my children are in their 20's. Circumstances changed though, when my husband and I took on the responsibility of caring for our grandson. At first, a relative watched him, but once he turned 1, he got to be a handful, so we started looking for daycare elsewhere.<br />
I sent Axel to a home daycare. I wanted him to have the experience with other children, but not in a "center" environment. Being in a home daycare is supposed to be relaxing, fun, etc.....just as if he were home. Well, at first? It seemed to be that way......<br />
He had been going there for about a year. I THOUGHT everything was going well. No, we weren't on the same page on everything, but then i didn't agree with a lot of what his caretaker was doing, and i was not about to force him to do something that i did not agree with, nor that he was ready for. Not in this lifetime. <br />
Now you have to understand that my husband and I do not always see eye to eye on a lot of things with Axel. Where as I may be the one that tries to adhere to the routine, he is the one that is more lenient, and gives in more easily - probably because Axel has his grandfather wrapped around his little finger......<br />
I was constantly being told by his caregiver that "he is never going to listen to me until he listens to you at home". We didn't have a problem with him, other than the typical i'm 2 so deal with it, behaviors..... I certainly didn't expect him to act as though he was older than 2, but apparently she did.<br />
Let me just give you an idea of how things went:<br />
-Upon Arrival at daycare, the children were expected to sit in their high chairs and wait for breakfast to be made.<br />
-the "daycare" room was aproximately 9x10. This is the room that the children were confined to during the day. they were not allowed to play in the house. They were allowed out in the dining room or kitchen at meal times only. any other time (with the exception of going outside to play), they were to stay in the daycare room. There was even a split door so that they couldn't "escape".<br />
-Lunch was at a specific time and if the child was not hungry, oh well. Thats when you are having lunch and you are not having anything else until snack time. Same went for breakfast.<br />
-Nap time - naps were taken at a specific time as well, whether you were tired or not. If you did not sleep, don't try to fall asleep later, because you will not be able to. When nap time is over, you lose.<br />
-Crib/pack n play vs. mat - Naturally small children under the age of 3 are generally still in a crib, as is Axel. Well, a pack and play is defenitely not a crib, and Axel knew it. He is extremely smart for his age....he knew that he could get out of the pack and play, and he did. Several times. He would strategically grab the side rail, brace his feet on the netting and "flip" himself out of the pack n play. Pretty good for a less than two year old i might add......<br />
Well, seeing as how he got himself out of the pack n play, apparently the provider felt that he was old enough to sleep on a mat. Well, apparently he felt differently, as he should. there was no way in hell he was sleeping on that mat. He wasn't even in a toddler bed yet, so how she expected him to sleep on the mat was beyond me.<br />
The fight was on at that point. He wasn't sleeping on the mat, so when nap time was over, it was over. After a while of this routine on a daily basis, he was literally exhausted. To a toddler, Exhausted = miserable. Period. Every time i went to pick him up he was in time out for something. I was being told that he was hitting the day care provider, spitting, kicking, etc. all after i walked out the door. Now part of me feels that it was an exaggeration on her part, but the other part of me now, feels that he was rebelling because of the military conditions of the daycare. <br />
I understand that when there are three or more children, it is hard to "rock" or "comfort" a child to sleep, but you know what? You just do it. If you have one that won't go to sleep, you wait until the other are (that apparently have no problem going to sleep) and then you comfort and rock the child that is having trouble. Isn't that what a home daycare is all about? So the child feels like he is surrounded by the comforts of home?<br />
I don't know. Maybe its just me.......<br />
I felt alot of times that my grandson was 2, yet because he was smart for his age, he was expected to act like he was older. He was expected to sleep on a mat, He was expected to share as well as the older kids. he was expected to listen and act like her perfect children. He was two years old. I don't care how smart he was at that age, he was still two years old. He is going to have tantrums, he is going to tell you no, he is going to give you a hard time and no, he is not going to share.<br />
Well, December comes around, a week before Christmas and upon dropping axel off for the day i am greeted with "Wednesday will be Axel's last day". Talk about a slap in the face. There was no warning, there was no "if things dont change i will have to excuse axel from daycare" no nothing. I guess when you run a "home" daycare, common courtesy is something that you don't have to have any more. Part of me was relieved in a way. Every time i dropped him off i felt bad because he went from a car seat to a high chair because they were not allowed to play while she made breakfast for them. I'm sure that sooner or later i would have been the one to take him out of there, but she beat me to the punch.<br />
Now the race was on to find another daycare provider. I had a week. I called a few, was very honest as to the fact that my two year old grandson got kicked out of daycare for being two, and proceed to ask them how they would handle these types of situations. After two or three phone calls, i found my new day care provider.<br />
Judy came across as perky, stern, but fun too. She was the one that responded with the "home day care" answers that one would expect. When i asked her "how would you handle my grandson not wanting to take a nap, and giving you a hard time about it". Her response? "I would lay him on the floor in the living room, put in a movie and eventually he would fall asleep. I win." Gold Star..... When i asked her about the fact that he climbs out of the pack n play "I have a crib so thats not an issue." When i explained to her about the "behaviors" he was showing at the other daycare: "He is two. he is going to act up". I knew that she was going to be the best choice, and i was right.<br />
Fast forward to today. Axel loves miss Judy. He is three now, and going on his second year with her. He has made a special friend, no longer sleeps in the crib, sleeps on the mat with no problems at all, because Judy didn't make him. Axel chose to sleep on the mat when he was ready to and has ever since. There is no kicking, spitting, slapping. There are none of the previous behaviors present. As a matter of fact, there were not from day one. The only issue was the separation anxiety - new daycare, clingy child. Now i have to ask him for a hug when i leave! But isn't that the way it is supposed to be?<br />
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3843264026511992279-4740670828567042529?l=mjouellette.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>M.J. Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506807199279363316noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843264026511992279.post-40554115598267458292010-08-26T11:00:00.000-04:002012-01-13T11:27:26.496-05:002012-01-13T11:27:26.496-05:00Who's who any more?I don't care too much for politics, but it is quite obvious that i can't help but to see the advertisements on TV for the different politicians running for any given office or seat.<br />
It wasn't until i married my second husband that i even voted. My feeling was when i see someone worth voting for, i will register. Well, apparently he has that "everyone should vote" attitude and i reluctantly registered. I gave in to that, but i would NOT choose an affiliation. I am a proud "Independent"!<br />
Anyway, back to the topic at hand, which is what i was leading up to with all that. I don't "follow" politics, other than watching the ads. From what i see, it would be kind of hard to follow anyway. I haven't learned anything about anyone running for office other than what kind of money they took, how they bankrupted a company while paying themselves millions, what kind of lies they told, and how wrestling corrupts our children. Correct me if i'm wrong, but isn't a "campaign" supposed to convince people to vote for you based on YOUR accomplishments, YOUR beliefs, and what YOU will do for the people? It seems as though politics have turned into a bash-fest. I have YET to see one ad for what any politician is going to do for me if elected to the seat they are seeking. <br />
Seems to me as though i was better off not voting.......there still isn't anyone worth voting for.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3843264026511992279-4055411559826745829?l=mjouellette.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>M.J. Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506807199279363316noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843264026511992279.post-8425320045075635672010-08-16T11:46:00.000-04:002012-01-13T11:27:46.544-05:002012-01-13T11:27:46.544-05:00The Wild things can stay there.....OK. My first shot at writing a review. I, like some other people i know, either owned or have read the childrens book "Where The Wild Things Are". Max, the main character in the book as well as the movie, misbehaves at home, chasing the dog with a fork in a wolf costume and gets sent to his room without his supper as punishment. His bedroom turns into a fantasy world where he sails to an island and finds the "wild things", becomes king, gets homesick and eventually he ends up back in his bedroom. Max is your typical kid that has a wild imagination that often gets him into trouble. Normal. Great book for kids. Movie - not so.<br />
Max is portrayed as an extremely agitated child, picked on by his sisters friends, dressing up in his wolf suit, (AND the only reference to him chasing the dog with the fork is during the opening credits), raising hell, standing on the kitchen table and demanding ''FOOD WOMAN" biting his mother, and running out the door. He proceeds to find a sailboat, start sailing away and ends up on an island of Wild things who are all in the class of dysfunction 101. There is nothing in this movie that is even remotely close to acceptable for children, other than the ending when Max returns home, is eating dinner and watching his mother fall asleep. This movie teaches everything that i do not want my grandson or any other child that watches it to learn: Extreme disobedience, rudeness, being inconsiderate, destruction of property (one of the wild things on the island destroys things when he is upset - the other wild things' houses......) running away, and that all of this is ok. (no discipline when he comes back, he was only given his dinner)<br />
Personally, i wouldn't waste the $1.06 on renting this movie. You Really want the story of Where The Wild Things Are? READ THE BOOK. YOU'LL LOVE IT.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3843264026511992279-842532004507563567?l=mjouellette.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>M.J. Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506807199279363316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843264026511992279.post-41273481380661918002010-05-22T22:46:00.000-04:002012-01-13T11:28:23.367-05:002012-01-13T11:28:23.367-05:00Stick Man and the BugIt happened quite a long time ago. around 20 years to be exact. It was a very interesting part of my summer vacation. A part that i will not soon forget.<br />
I think it was around July 4th. The summer was really hot, all the holiday picnics were in full swing on my block. The smell of grilled burgers and hot dogs was penetrating the nostrils of every person within a mile radius. Boy was it an awesome aroma. Made your mouth water and your stomach rumble. Sorry, I'm getting off track here.<br />
I was tired of the usual cheek pinching that was going on with all my older female relatives, so i decided to grab my bike and take off for a ride.<br />
Boy was it hot. I'm not sure how far i got before i had to stop and rest. I found the perfect spot - in the shade under an old maple tree. Ahhhhh. Peace and quiet. No more cheek pinching. Just me and the tree. It was wonderful. I told myself that i was just going to lay down in the grass for a minute...........<br />
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"Hey. Hey boy! Wake up!" I opened my eyes and wasnt quite sure what i was looking at. "Boy - where did you come from?" I was asked.<br />
"um. my house?" I responded, quite confused.<br />
I was starting to wake up a little more. It was unusual, but i was talking to.... well, to a stick.<br />
"What do you call yourself boy?" "he" asked<br />
"Ben" I replied<br />
"Well Ben - please come with me."<br />
I got up and followed, reluctantly i might add. He was a stick alright. But a stick-man. You know, like the ones you draw on a piece of paper. Everyone was a stick that i saw. Now i KNOW that i was dreaming. It was still a little scary, but interesting at the same time.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3843264026511992279-4127348138066191800?l=mjouellette.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>M.J. Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506807199279363316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843264026511992279.post-77714433586776880322010-05-17T10:35:00.001-04:002012-01-13T11:27:26.501-05:002012-01-13T11:27:26.501-05:00The SO Registry - live saving, and life RUINING<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I am all for protecting our children, but what if that so called protection goes too far? Imagine this.....</div><div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">You are the proud mother/father of a straight A student. Your son has never gotten into trouble, has always made the right decisions even though he didn't want to. He earned a full scholarship playing football to Notre Dam. He is 18.</div></div><div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">The love of his life, his high school sweetheart, is also a straight A student, never in trouble, she also on a full scholarship to the college of her choice. Its a match made in heaven.</div></div><div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Well, Your son is leaving for college - on their last date together for a while, you guessed it. they have sex. Innocent? Well you would think so. BUT alas, she gets home late, her father starts in on her and it comes out that she had sex with your son. Her father calles the police and they arrest your son - HE IS NOW A SEX OFFENDER AND HAS TO REGISTER FOR THE NEXT 15 YEARS OF HIS LIFE. Guess what? Notre Dam politely revokes his scholarship after he notifies them that he is a sex offender (which is required by law). Every other college he applies to, same thing, they "politely" tell him that he was not accepted for one reason or another.</div></div><div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">His life, which was once extremely promising, has now been scarred. He can't get a job because he has to check that little box on the bottom "have you ever been convicted of a crime", or "have you ever been arrested"...yup. arrests are public knowledge - there is no way to hide it - he is an adult. He is given the same excuse every time he applies at a burger joint "we hired someone that was more qualified". Well how the hell qualified to you have to be to sling burgers and say "may i take your order?". This will happen for the next 15 years of his life. He will be on the list, and classified with ALL the pedophiles and violent offenders who DESERVE to be on the list. Everywhere he goes he has to notify the state police. You go visit your parents - he has to give the state police his arrival and departure dates and the address he will be staying at. And he better be there if they decide to ask.</div></div><div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Just how fair is this registry? Is it fair to classify someone that made a stupid mistake, with violent pedophiles that deserve to have their dicks cut off? I think not.......Wake up people. Time to change the statutes regarding who registers and who does not.</div></div><div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Enough about protect your children! Drive out the sex offenders! How about LETS BE FAIR TO THOSE THAT DO NOT DESERVE TO HAVE THEIR LIVES RUINED BECAUSE THEY WERE JUST STUPID KIDS........</div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3843264026511992279-7771443358677688032?l=mjouellette.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>M.J. Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506807199279363316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843264026511992279.post-49975325408316398002010-05-17T10:34:00.001-04:002012-01-13T11:25:44.902-05:002012-01-13T11:25:44.902-05:00I never imagined i would do it again.......<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Wow. Here i am, two children - 20 and 22 and I have a 19 month old in the house. I'm 42 and my husband is 45. Never in this lifetime did we imagine that we would be raising a baby at our age. Even though it has been a year, it is still "sinking in".</div><div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Let me tell you the story........</div></div><div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">My husband and I like to snowmobile, go on the boat, 4-wheeling, etc. Well, up until June of 2008, we had my son Erik in the house. He has Aspergers Syndrome which is high functioning Autism. He really took a toll on us because all his disability is social, daily living skills, etc. For example, If I did not tell him to shower every morning, he would not because his brain does not process the "necessity" to shower. He is 6' 3", about 280lbs but wouldn't hurt a fly. He is just a gentle giant plain and simple.</div></div><div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Well, when i divorced his father, my oldest son went to live with my ex and Erik stayed with me. (thats a totally different story for another day). Always asking to go live with "daddy", i told him that he could not until he graduated from high school. Well the day came and i certainly couldn't go back on my word so July 1st, he went to live with his father.</div></div><div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Although we didn't like the idea of Erik living with his father (he doesn't know how to assist an Autistic person, nor does he want to make the time), we were liking the fact that we could come and go as we please. All we had to worry about now was who was going to take care of our pets if we left them home. (They are our kids so they pretty much go everywhere with us unless we have to fly somewhere)</div></div><div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Then, on May 9th i think it was, my grandson, then 6 months old, became part of our lives. No more coming and going as we pleased. No more "its all about us now". We had this little person in our lives that depended on us for his very survival....whether we liked it or not, we were raising a baby.</div></div><div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">that in itself is a long story. One that i would rathar not get into for personal reasons. Lets just say that my son and his wife were total flipping morons, were only thinking of themselves, got into a bit of trouble and were not able to take care of their son. Well, to keep him out of state custody, we stepped in.</div></div><div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">BOY did our lives change. Now i know why they give children to young people lol. Its been a long time since i was changing diapers, buying baby food, soothing a tooth-cutting baby. Took me a little bit but i got back into the swing of things.</div></div><div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Poor little thing. When he was brought to us at 6 months old, he was just so confused. My heart broke when i saw his eyes. Its a good thing i was there not too long ago - he smiled when he saw me so i know that he recognized me. good thing because i would hate to think what would have happened had he not. Just the dazed look in his eyes - after all, the poor kid was taken from his mommy and daddy, brought to me by my stepmother (whom he had only seen once). Yanked from his stability and didn't know what the hell was going on.</div></div><div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">It took quite a while for him to look as though he was ok. After all, i wasn't his mommy. I don't care what anyone says, a baby knows who its mother is. I would give Jennifer updates on him and I really tried to visit them as much as i could with the baby - it was hard though. They lived in Virginia and i was in CT. We were talking about a 9 hour drive, one way. It wasn't something that i could do too often unfortunately.</div></div><div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">At this point he is a very well adjusted little boy. He is now a year and a half, starting to talk, climbing all over everything like a little monkey, eats like a little piggy and is just a super happy kid. (despite going through the terrible twos and becoming a beast child :) )We try to take videos and pictures when we can so that my son and his wife will have some type of memories, since they are missing out on alot. I know its not the same, but i also know that they will appreciate anything of that nature when it comes to their son.</div></div><div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Do I have any regrets? Only that my son and his wife were stupid enough to get themselves into that type of situation to begin with, having a small child to think about.</div></div><div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">How long will we have him? Not sure. Obviously the kids want him back as quickly as possible. They did give us custody of him as they cannot support him right now, but we all agreed that when the time came, we would reverse the custody and give it back to them. When is that going to happen?</div></div><div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Not sure. My grandson doesnt really know his parents. He is "familiar" enough with them that as long as my husband and I are there, he will play with them and sit with them, etc. If we leave, thats when he gets nervous and starts looking for us.</div></div><div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I know that it is a difficult situation for them. I can't even IMAGINE what they feel not having their son with them. All i know, (and they certainly don't want to hear it) is that they need to focus on getting THEIR lives straightened out. If they aren't right, Their son will not be right with them. We are fully prepared to be in this for the long haul. This little guy is the most important thing right now.</div></div><div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I do have to say that he has been a blessing. We are so glad that we were there to help the kids. They are trying to get their lives back in order, and we are raising their son and hoping that one day, they will be in a position to resume the role as his primary caregivers. They have a long way to go both in maturity and just their overall situation, but we are here to support them and help them the whole way.</div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3843264026511992279-4997532540831639800?l=mjouellette.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>M.J. Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00506807199279363316noreply@blogger.com0