On the uphill climb......sort of.......

Wow.  Looking at my blog I'm a little taken aback that it has been so long since my last entry.  Life has a way of doing that sometimes though. Come to think of it, I think life has something against me because it seemingly finds humor in keeping me down and then kicking the shit out of me.

I'm pretty much used to it by now.  I used to ask myself "when is something good going to happen for me?"  Now, it's more along the lines of "How much time do I have before the next round?"

From childhood "trauma", to abusive spouses, brain tumors and raising grand kids, one can gain a lot of experience.  It may not be the best experience, but it is life experience, good or bad.  In my case, its pretty much been bad. BUT, it is a learning experience none-the-less.

Being unemployed when I never thought I would be has really left an impact.  I got to a point of depression that I never thought I would reach.  Did I let it effect my daily life? No.  I pretty  much kept everything inside, but unfortunately it was visible in comments, posts, etc to friends.  They knew something was wrong, especially my sister. Shoot, she even told me to get on meds lol.  Gotta love her.
And then there is good old Face Book.  What would I do without my network of friends?  It seems as though they are the ones I turn to when things go wrong, rather than those that are physically here with me.  Sometimes it's those friends that listen the best.

So now I am at a point in my life where while still depressed, not at the level I had been at.  I found a job making significantly less than I had been making, but I saw the potential.  There is room for advancement.  Not a lot, but if I can come close to making what I was, I will be happy.  Now we just have to lower our "means" a bit.  When you are used to living a certain life style and now you are no longer able to, that in itself is a learning process.  I was actually contemplating cashing in my 401k to pay off my bills so that we can "start over" again.  Oh it isn't alot.  I didn't start my 401k right away.  It took a few years, so I had only been putting into it for about 8 of the 12 years I was working.  Anyhow, as long as I don't kill my husband, there is his pension to fall back on when we retire if needed.  Lord knows we will - at the rate the government is going, social security will be out of money by the time we retire.

Once again I manage to ramble on in my blog instead of getting to the point.  Now if i can only remember what the point of this post was to begin with.  Oh yes. The job. Re-entering the status of "employed" with an entry level job......I guess I should be happy that it is a job.  I would have liked to stay on unemployment, but I have never been much of a risk taker.  Here was this job right in town, gas savings right off the bat, room for advancement, small friendly atmosphere.  Would something like that come along again?  What if I passed it up to stay on unemployment with the mindset that "another job like that will come along".  Knowing the kind of curve balls that life has been throwing at me, I would end up with even a lower paying job when my unemployment ran out.  I wasn't willing to take that risk.

So here I am, sitting at my computer writing a blog entry.  I should be finishing up what I have to do around the house and haven't had a chance to because I had a job.  Starting on Monday - that's the same routine I am going to fall into and won't get anything done.  But my life will be back to normal.  Well, sort of.